Coming Through Slaughter, Close Reading #2 - I've Got Baggage Too

At one point in the story, Bolden is in limbo. He is supposed to board a train, but is unable to go through with it when he realizes how alone he is. At the train station, he understands his situation with sudden, paralyzing clarity, realizing that he "did not have any baggage with him, just the mouthpiece in his pocket. He could step on the train or go back to the Brewitts. He was frozen. He woke to see the train disappearing away from his body like a vein. He continued to stand hiding behind the mail wagon. Help me. He was scared of everybody. He didn't want to meet anybody he knew again, ever in his life." He has no real home anymore, no place he feels is safe, or even safe enough to return to. He's trapped, clearly unable to choose, frozen with fear and completely alone. Hey, what a great place for close reading!

Though he has no physical baggage, he clearly has emotional baggage weighing him down, and making his life difficult. The interest here is not only in his deteriorated mental state, but also in the events that have made him this way, afraid to meet anyone he knows, to see his family or his friends, literally hiding from his past. He would rather spend the night alone, sleeping on the beach, with his mouthpiece. He even hides from the train, which he sees as part of himself, a vein of his blood. Well, Buddy, I have news for you, veins are permanent; they're not kite strings waiting to be cut free, and they don't just disappear. As much as he tries to hide from his past, and his future, he cannot, and eventually returns to his family, and the Brewitts. After all, he's asking for help -- he clearly needs help -- and he knows they will offer help, and comfort, or at least do their best.

Still, despite his obvious distress, he doesn't seek help immediately -- remember, he's afraid to meet people he knows -- he leaves the station, drinks beer, and tries to comfort himself. He meets new people, hears new music, goes new places, and attempts to abandon his baggage and his fear. In the end, he doesn't choose from the choices he's given. He steps outside of the train station's false dichotomy, ignores the past, and the future, and just creates a new present for himself. Why not?